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Showing posts from 2020

He Knows What's Best

"It's not fair! You don't even trust me!" My 12-year-old daughter slammed her bedroom door. I sighed heavily and slumped down on the couch. With my face in my hands, I questioned my mothering; I questioned my ability to handle a tween, and a tear started to form in the corner of my eye.

She wanted to walk home from school with her best friend to her house. She's always either ridden the bus or been picked up, and I said no. We had a fervent text battle earlier that afternoon when I told her no, and now that we were home, she wanted to punish me for telling her no.

It hadn't been a flippant answer; I had weighed the options. I thought about the route they would have to take--it crossed a major roadway with no crosswalk. I considered the time of day and weather (late afternoon and overcast). I considered the number of other children walking that route (very few). I considered the length of the route (nearly a mile and half). All in all, I did not feel comfort…

It Wasn't Supposed to be Like This, Kobe

I stood in the center circle of the hardwood floor at Reunion Arena in 1995. I closed my eyes and drank in the reality of the moment. I was about to play on the same court as the Dallas Mavericks and all the legends of the game who had come through that gym. I was going to get to send the rock through the same net, sweat in the same seats and run through the same tunnel. I was in the presence of greatness, even though the NBA players weren't physically there.

Pictures of Michael Jordan meticulously cut from Sports Illustrated plastered my closet doors in high school. A life-size poster of Jason Kidd hung behind my door. Above my bed, the 1996 Dream Team smiled at me every day. A Reggie Miller jersey was all I wanted for Christmas my junior year, and I proudly sported Charles Barkley's CB 34's when I was on the court.

Not many girls had basketball posters in their rooms. The summer before my senior year, the Lakers drafted this kid straight out of high school. I remember t…

What Kind of Plate Are You?

We use paper plates at my house. It comes down to pure laziness--I just hate doing dishes. Sometimes, we'll even use paper bowls and plastic silverware. Every now and then, the practicality of the meal requires actual dishes, so we feel fancy. A meal like steak, for instance, requires a real plate. Not only may the food slide off a paper plate, but the steak knife could cut right to the table.

In addition to being lazy, I'm also cheap, so I've bought the off-brand paper plates before. Even worse are the ones that pre-schoolers use for crafts. I'm not even sure those were actually designed to hold food--they're flimsy and everything seeps through them. I've learned to purchase name-brand paper plates to avoid dinnertime disasters. It's a little more expensive, but it's well worth it to not have food slide off the edge or seep through.

We do use real plates other times, too, though. My mom has heirloom China that we only use on holidays. Each plate has t…

His Mercies are New Every Morning

It was close to 5 am when we pulled out of the parking lot, and I was already exhausted. Darkness enveloped us, and the moon was nowhere to be seen. We were headed to Waco for a school trip, and I was the less-than-enthusiastic bus driver. So I filled myself with a determination to stay awake and caffeine--lots of caffeine.

As I was driving down I-35, the sky began to ever so slowly brighten. The lyrics to Rita Springer's song You Never Change came to my mind that say, "You are the sunrise; there is no mistaking Your light." As I looked around me, there was indeed no mistaking the light that was forthcoming. The sun was yet to peek above the horizon, but the brightness of the morning was already evident.

As I got my first glimpse of the sun, the lyrics hit even harder. There is no man-made light that could be comparable to the sun. There's never been a time where I saw a light and wondered, "Oh, is that the sun?" Only the sun is the sun, and it's unmis…

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Those Words

“This just isn’t going to work out.” The dreaded words. The end. It's over. In my years of dating experience, I’ve heard Those Words several times. I’ve also said Those Words a time or two. Whatever partner is on the receiving end of Those Words is undoubtedly disappointed, hurt and saddened, but it’s a harsh reality that many relationships don’t always work out.

The majority of dating relationships end prior to walking down the aisle. But once you say, "I do," you never expect to hear Those Words ever again. But too often, it happens anyway. Families are devastated, hearts are shattered, and covenants are broken.
When you realize a dating relationship isn’t working for you, that’s when you utter Those Words or some variation of them. The thing is, though, after you say “I do,” you no longer get to say Those Words when the going gets tough--even if you feel the relationship isn't working. Every relationship has its ups and downs, marriage more than any other. That’…

Because of Who I Am

Someone posted on Facebook the other day the following:
Why would you fight for someone who clearly doesn't want you? Please let them go. You are valuable, just not to them. I thought about it for a minute, because I indeed fought for my husband when he clearly didn't want me. I fought for our marriage, even when he had zero interest in making our marriage work. He had already checked out and told me point-blank that he just didn't want to work on our marriage, but yet I fought on my knees before the Lord.

Throughout the first few months of our separation, I prayed day-in and day-out. I beseeched the Lord to intercede. I rebuked Satan, and I prostrated myself before the Lord God Almighty. I went to therapy, and I watched sermons online. I listened to every Jimmy Evans podcast I could find. I journaled and devoured God's Word. I wrote my husband scriptures and prayers daily. I soon filled a 100-page journal front and back.

Shortly after he left in June, God told me tha…

Covert Red Flags: The Real Things You Should Be Looking Out For in Relationships

Your relationship with your spouse should be the closest human relationship you ever have. As we are dating, we are assessing whether or not that person could potentially fit into our inner circle. This causes us to be on high alert for red flags. Most red flags are obvious--lack of communication, anger issues, irresponsibility, controlling behavior, abuse, etc. A quick Google search will bring up list upon list of red flags we should look out for. Being rude to waitstaff, not making your relationship public, not caring about XYZ, stone walling, gaslighting, and more can all be found on most lists.

But what about the covert red flags? Those things that are less obvious. My first marriage taught me to look out for the overt red flags like the ones found in every advice column. My second marriage taught me to look out for covert red flags, ones that I never even realized were red flags until I could look back. The entire time we dated, I kept looking for the overt red flags, and there …