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Showing posts from May, 2018

Can't Stop the Pain

Several years ago, I broke my ankle at Hawaiian Falls. How I broke my ankle is horrifically embarrassing, and I will only tell close friends the actual story. Following the incident, I thought I was ok, even though I could hardly walk on it. The bottom line is that I'm cheap: I didn't want to pay money to go to the ER, and I didn't want to have to pay for a doctor's visit just for them to tell me everything is fine. Except it wasn't fine. Over the next few weeks, the pain increased, and I knew something was definitely wrong. By the time I finally went to the doctor, I was told that a piece of my ankle bone had chipped off, and it had already started to fuse back together incorrectly. The only way to fix it was to have surgery. That was a big "nope" from me. There was no way I was paying money for surgery to fix a tiny chip on my ankle, and even then, there was no guarantee I would ever be pain-free. This physically painful incident taught me much

Believing isn't Enough

If you've been around children any amount of time, you know just how gullible and naïve they are. Kids will readily believe anything, simply because you tell them it's true. Eyes bulge in awe as they say, "Really?" wanting to know more. Prime examples are Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. This child-like wonder fades the older we get, and we no longer take things at face value. We lose our innocence, and we start to question what we are told. Jesus tells us in Matthew 18:3 that we need to become child-like in our faith in order to enter the kingdom of heaven. We need to believe in the Lord without all the complications life throws at us, which is hard to do. We go through hurt and rejection. We lose those we love; we experience life. We realize that head-knowledge is not heart-knowledge. It becomes less easy to just believe in the Lord's goodness. Through the rollercoaster of life, this verse reminds us to believe and be saved. Just beli

Dating is a Struggle

Dating is a struggle. I know I'm not alone in that struggle, either. For many Christian singles, dating is just plain difficult--especially post-divorce. Dating in my teens and 20's was much more simple. We were young, wild and reckless. We didn't have mortgages and 401k's. There weren't the constraints of kids and carting them to and from practices, rehearsals, recitals and games. Nowadays, if he has kids too, that means trying to mesh both sets of kids' schedules. It means weaving 1st, 3rd and 5th weekends with 2nd and 4th weekend visitation schedules. It's just a logistical nightmare. Logistics isn't the only thing that makes dating at this stage in life difficult. It's finding a person with whom we are compatible. Someone who enjoys the same things we do; someone whom we like being around, and someone who is emotionally healthy. We have all experienced hurt and rejection, and we are all on a different path to healing and forgiveness for

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Jesus Would Advocate for Civil Disobedience

In March, executive orders from governors across the country forced us to stay home, to close schools and churches and to shut down private businesses. Businesses were classified as either "essential" or "non-essential." All businesses deemed "non-essential" were forced to close. This included markets, clothing stores, boutiques, dine-in restaurants, and beauty salons. State parks, city parks, beaches, walking trails, lakes, and other wide open spaces were closed as well. Many people feel that the "social distancing," as it has come to be known, and stay at home executive orders violate their constitutional rights, such as our first amendment right to freely exercise our religion, our right to peaceably assemble, and that we shall not be deprived of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Some of the people who feel their rights have been violated have decided to exercise their First Amendment right to protest. Some have even chosen

Covert Red Flags: The Real Things You Should Be Looking Out For in Relationships

Your relationship with your spouse should be the closest human relationship you ever have. As we are dating, we are assessing whether or not that person could potentially fit into our inner circle. This causes us to be on high alert for red flags. Most red flags are obvious--lack of communication, anger issues, irresponsibility, controlling behavior, abuse, etc. A quick Google search will bring up list upon list of red flags we should look out for. Being rude to waitstaff, not making your relationship public, not caring about XYZ, stone walling, gaslighting, and more can all be found on most lists. But what about the covert red flags? Those things that are less obvious. My first marriage taught me to look out for the overt red flags like the ones found in every advice column. My second marriage taught me to look out for covert red flags, ones that I never even realized were red flags until I could look back. The entire time we dated, I kept looking for the overt red fla

Because of Who I Am

Someone posted on Facebook the other day the following: Why would you fight for someone who clearly doesn't want you? Please let them go. You are valuable, just not to them. I thought about it for a minute, because I indeed fought for my husband when he clearly didn't want me. I fought for our marriage, even when he had zero interest in making our marriage work. He had already checked out and told me point-blank that he just didn't want to work on our marriage, but yet I fought on my knees before the Lord. Throughout the first few months of our separation, I prayed day-in and day-out. I beseeched the Lord to intercede. I rebuked Satan, and I prostrated myself before the Lord God Almighty. I went to therapy, and I watched sermons online. I listened to every Jimmy Evans podcast I could find. I journaled and devoured God's Word. I wrote my husband scriptures and prayers daily. I soon filled a 100-page journal front and back. Shortly after he left in June