Having to co-parent with a narcissist is a rollercoaster. When the times are good, we can talk about our children, agree on decisions and even talk at the children's school activities. When the times are bad, I receive disparaging text messages telling me how horrible I am, I get called names, yelled at in public, slandered on social media and e-mails sent to my bosses at work. For years, I had the hope that we would be able to get along and that he would change—that he would be changed by God. God can change people. God can do anything. Matthew 19:26 tells us that, "with God, all things are possible." The means He can even heal narcissists. But sometimes, when you’re the spouse of a narcissist (or you have to co-parent with one), especially as a Christian, you feel that Jesus may have been lying when He told this to the disciples. You're on a rollercoaster of emotions—you pray and hope and pray and hope and see no change. You’re devastated all over again, because

Not too far from my house, a Chick-Fil-A closed down their location and re-opened down the street in an old Applebee's. They took several months to remodel the Applebee's to become a large, brand-new Chick-Fil-A. It has a double drive-thru with a sliding glass door for employees to easily access the cars in line. The transformation from a casual dining restaurant to a fast food restaurant is nothing short of remarkable. There is nothing in or on that building that would suggest it was ever anything but a CFA.  It made me think about how we are to become new creations in Christ. 2 Corinthians 5:17 tells us "Therefore, if any man be in Christ, he is a new creation. Old things have passed away, and behold all things are made new." Just as that Applebee's in no longer an Applebee's, we are no longer our old selves. We are a brand-new Chick-Fil-A.  We also don't get to hold on to the old signage. How confusing would it be if the new CFA still had an Applebe

Yahweh, Breath of God.   At the end of July, my girls and I went with my sister and two of her kids to the Frio River in southeast Texas to camp and float the river. Floating the river is a long-standing Texas tradition. You get in an innertube and just let the river current take you downstream. You pack food and drinks for the day, and you just bask in the sun and float away. After a few days of hot sun and cool water, we were packing up to go home. My 16-year-old daughter and I were hitching the trailer to my Tahoe, and I wasn’t paying enough attention to what we were doing. My right index finger got caught, and I couldn’t move it. My daughter tried her hardest to help, but I couldn’t communicate in anything but screams. I made a movement with my left hand to move the trailer. In her effort to free me, she pushed when I needed her to pull. The end result was half of my fingertip being severed off. Through cussing and screaming, I immediately found paper towels to wrap around my f

“I am so offended,” one of my freshman students called out after reading the introductory scene from  Romeo and Juliet . I can understand her feeling that way, as it is a particularly misogynistic scene. “You don’t get to be offended,” I replied to her. She looked at me haughtily, as if I can’t tell her what she can be offended by. “You see,” I continued, “you don’t get to be offended, because it wasn’t written to you, nor was it written about you.” I went on to tell her that she can most definitely find Shakespeare’s scene offensive—because it is—but she doesn’t get to be offended, because she cannot take it personally. A look of understanding slowly started to wash over her face. The entire classroom’s attitude shifted from feeling victimized by Shakespeare to understanding that the material is offensive, and therefore we can call it that and learn from it. However, all too often, we get offended by people’s words and actions, as if they were directed toward us.  Being offended i

Sometimes I just don’t feel like it. I don’t feel like rejoicing. I don’t feel like worshipping. I don’t feel like even talking to God. I’m tired. I’m physically exhausted. I’m emotionally exhausted. David felt this way, too. In Psalm 31, David talks about how exhausted he is. “I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief.” He goes on to say how he is like broken pottery, and people were conspiring to kill him. Does David give up? Does David languish in his agony? Over and over, David makes a conscious choice to praise God. He says repeatedly, “Bless the Lord, oh my soul.” As a kid growing up, I always thought David was “the worshipper,” so therefore he must have felt a deep connection to God all the time. But when you look deeper at the scripture, you’ll see that he is telling his very soul what to do. He isn’t just pouring out praises here. It is as if he is commanding his soul, “Hey, there David! You need to bless the Lord.” Our soul is comprise

The biggest rock concert of my generation was RockFest '97. It featured just about every popular rock band of the 90's. More than 400,000 people crammed into Fort Worth's Texas Motor Speedway. The Nixons, No Doubt, Matchbox 20, Jewel, Bush, The Counting Crows, and more took the stage as the sun blazed in the Texas summer. Growing up in a conservative Christian household in the 90's, going to a secular rock concert was taboo. I knew my parents would never let me go, but I wanted to go more than anything. I told my parents that some friends and I were going to Six Flags over Texas, an amusement park about 45 minutes away. I thought it was the perfect cover--we would still be outside (that would explain the sunburn), and we could be gone all day.  As children of God, we don't get to sin and get away with it. In the book of Amos, Israel is prosperous and powerful. However, their hearts are not bent toward the Lord. They choose to disobey God’s commands and do as the

The greatest man I ever knew had an IQ of about 55. My Uncle Jeff had Down Syndrome, and he could never have had a philosophical conversation about the meaning of life. He could have told you all about Tom Landry and his Dallas Cowboys, though. There's no way he would have been able to solve an algebraic equation, but he could have told you all about the TV show HeeHaw. He couldn't have been able to process complex ideas, but he could tell you why Coca-Cola was the best drink ever made. He had none of the markers of "intelligence" we deem important in our society, but he loved Jesus, and he loved you.  His love was simple and pure. He didn't complicate his love with intrusive thoughts or overthinking. He never sat around worried what others thought about him. He just loved you. He wanted to talk to you and give you a hug. "All-right!" was a favorite word when he was excited. His sense of humor was unmatched. If you asked him if he was ready to go,

What other people think about you is none of your business. Read that again. What other people think about you is none of your business.  My whole life, I have struggled with what other people think about me. Not in the sense that I have to post on social media daily to garner likes and hearts. Not in the sense that I have to be dressed to the 9's every time I walk out my front door. What I struggle with is that I want to be seen. I want people to perceive me as I perceive me — that I am kind and giving. That I have a good heart and always mean well. I want people to see my heart is always in the right place, even if I may fall short.  For years, my ex-husband has slung blatantly false accusations at me. For years, it hurt me to my core that he would genuinely think that I was abusing our children or that I didn't care about them. I would cry for hours that the father of my beautiful girls would think I'm such a vile person. I cried out to God, and I wanted answers. I w

Crying out to God in desperation and feeling like He just doesn't answer can feel isolating. It can make us feel unloved and utterly alone. Sometimes, we feel like God just isn't answering our prayers. We think that because He didn't come out and just give us the answer we wanted, that He didn't answer. We get upset that He didn't give us an answer how we wanted Him to answer us.  The dictionary defines an answer as a response or reaction to a question, statement or situation. So given this broad of a definition, He may be answering us, just maybe not how we would like Him to answer us.  James 5:16 says, "The effectual prayers of a righteous man availeth much." I Peter 3:12 says that "For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer..." So scripture tells us that He does indeed listen to our prayer. We know from Jeremiah 29:11 that God's plans are to "prosper you and not to harm you. To giv

"Miss! What bothers you most about our generation—Gen Z?" one of my sophomore students asked me during class today. The boy who asked me this expected me to say I was annoyed by the slang, the way kids dress, the TikTok dances, or that they have their noses in their phones 24/7. I thought about it for a second, and the answer was difficult to put into words that a 15-year-old could understand. What bothers me most about this generation is the expectation of mercy .  As a teacher for 20 years, I have been told numerous times by administrators to show grace to students. It's a pervasive theme with all educators in the past few years. With Covid restrictions, ADHD and learning disabilities on the rise, parental neglect, poverty, mental health issues, an influx of apathy and kids simply not doing their work, teachers are told over and over to extend grace to kids in the classroom. We are told that we need to think about their circumstances and why they may not be compl