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Let Them

What other people think about you is none of your business. Read that again. What other people think about you is none of your business.  My whole life, I have struggled with what other people think about me. Not in the sense that I have to post on social media daily to garner likes and hearts. Not in the sense that I have to be dressed to the 9's every time I walk out my front door. What I struggle with is that I want to be seen. I want people to perceive me as I perceive me — that I am kind and giving. That I have a good heart and always mean well. I want people to see my heart is always in the right place, even if I may fall short.  For years, my ex-husband has slung blatantly false accusations at me. For years, it hurt me to my core that he would genuinely think that I was abusing our children or that I didn't care about them. I would cry for hours that the father of my beautiful girls would think I'm such a vile person. I cried out to God, and I wanted answers. I w

Does God Answer Prayer?

Crying out to God in desperation and feeling like He just doesn't answer can feel isolating. It can make us feel unloved and utterly alone. Sometimes, we feel like God just isn't answering our prayers. We think that because He didn't come out and just give us the answer we wanted, that He didn't answer. We get upset that He didn't give us an answer how we wanted Him to answer us.  The dictionary defines an answer as a response or reaction to a question, statement or situation. So given this broad of a definition, He may be answering us, just maybe not how we would like Him to answer us.  James 5:16 says, "The effectual prayers of a righteous man availeth much." I Peter 3:12 says that "For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer..." So scripture tells us that He does indeed listen to our prayer. We know from Jeremiah 29:11 that God's plans are to "prosper you and not to harm you. To giv

Grace and Mercy

"Miss! What bothers you most about our generation—Gen Z?" one of my sophomore students asked me during class today. The boy who asked me this expected me to say I was annoyed by the slang, the way kids dress, the TikTok dances, or that they have their noses in their phones 24/7. I thought about it for a second, and the answer was difficult to put into words that a 15-year-old could understand. What bothers me most about this generation is the expectation of mercy .  As a teacher for 20 years, I have been told numerous times by administrators to show grace to students. It's a pervasive theme with all educators in the past few years. With Covid restrictions, ADHD and learning disabilities on the rise, parental neglect, poverty, mental health issues, an influx of apathy and kids simply not doing their work, teachers are told over and over to extend grace to kids in the classroom. We are told that we need to think about their circumstances and why they may not be compl

Effectual Prayer

James 5:16 says, "the effectual prayers of a righteous man availeth much." Sometimes, when I think about this verse, I take the word “effectual“ out of it. My mind says it as, “the prayers of a righteous man availeth much.“ I’ve always thought that the emphasis in the scripture is on the word “righteous.” Righteous means, “right standing with God,“ and I am made righteous through Jesus is finished work on the cross. So I’ve always thought that this scripture meant that if I have received my righteousness from the Lord, my prayers will availeth much. But that’s not the case. There’s an adjective in front of the word prayer. That adjective is “effectual.” Effectual means, "producing a desired effect." But then the word availeth means "useful or effective; to be of value." So the scripture is saying, "the prayers that produce the desired effect of a man who is right standing with God produce the desired effect.” Well, that makes no sense. Of co

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Jesus Would Advocate for Civil Disobedience

In March, executive orders from governors across the country forced us to stay home, to close schools and churches and to shut down private businesses. Businesses were classified as either "essential" or "non-essential." All businesses deemed "non-essential" were forced to close. This included markets, clothing stores, boutiques, dine-in restaurants, and beauty salons. State parks, city parks, beaches, walking trails, lakes, and other wide open spaces were closed as well. Many people feel that the "social distancing," as it has come to be known, and stay at home executive orders violate their constitutional rights, such as our First Amendment right to freely exercise our religion, our right to peaceably assemble, and that we shall not be deprived of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Some of the people who feel their rights have been violated have decided to exercise their First Amendment right to protest. Some have even chosen

Covert Red Flags: The Real Things You Should Be Looking Out For in Relationships

Your relationship with your spouse should be the closest human relationship you ever have. As we are dating, we are assessing whether or not that person could potentially fit into our inner circle. This causes us to be on high alert for red flags. Most red flags are obvious--lack of communication, anger issues, irresponsibility, controlling behavior, abuse, etc. A quick Google search will bring up list upon list of red flags we should look out for. Being rude to waitstaff, not making your relationship public, not caring about XYZ, stone walling, gaslighting, and more can all be found on most lists. But what about the covert red flags? Those things that are less obvious. My first marriage taught me to look out for the overt red flags like the ones found in every advice column. My second marriage taught me to look out for covert red flags, ones that I never even realized were red flags until I could look back. The entire time we dated, I kept looking for the overt red fla

Because of Who I Am

Someone posted on Facebook the other day the following: Why would you fight for someone who clearly doesn't want you? Please let them go. You are valuable, just not to them. I thought about it for a minute, because I indeed fought for my husband when he clearly didn't want me. I fought for our marriage, even when he had zero interest in making our marriage work. He had already checked out and told me point-blank that he just didn't want to work on our marriage, but yet I fought on my knees before the Lord. Throughout the first few months of our separation, I prayed day-in and day-out. I beseeched the Lord to intercede. I rebuked Satan, and I prostrated myself before the Lord God Almighty. I went to therapy, and I watched sermons online. I listened to every Jimmy Evans podcast I could find. I journaled and devoured God's Word. I wrote my husband scriptures and prayers daily. I soon filled a 100-page journal front and back. Shortly after he left in June