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Showing posts from August, 2019

Those Words

“This just isn’t going to work out.” The dreaded words. The end. It's over. In my years of dating experience, I’ve heard Those Words several times. I’ve also said Those Words a time or two. Whatever partner is on the receiving end of Those Words  is undoubtedly disappointed, hurt and saddened, but it’s a harsh reality that many relationships don’t always work out. The majority of dating relationships end prior to walking down the aisle. But once you say, "I do," you never expect to hear Those Words ever again. But too often, it happens anyway. Families are devastated, hearts are shattered, and covenants are broken. When you realize a dating relationship isn’t working for you, that’s when you utter Those Words  or some variation of them. The thing is, though, after you say “I do,” you no longer get to say Those Words when the going gets tough--even if you feel the relationship isn't working. Every relationship has its ups and downs, marriage m

Lottery Ticket

The other day, God gave me a “vision” of my husband winning the lottery. He had the winning ticket in his hand, and he was jumping up and down—so excited he had just won $100 million. After the excitement wore off, he started examining the winning ticket. He looked at it confused, and he turned it over. He shook his head and set the ticket down on the ground, walking away from it. Some guy came by, picked it up and said excitedly, “Mister! You have a winning lottery ticket here!” My husband shook his head and hung it low. “No, that’s not a winning lotto ticket. It’s just a piece of paper with writing on it.” He walked away. God showed me several things through this. First, is that just because my husband couldn’t see the value of that winning lottery ticket (me, his wife), that winning lottery ticket was STILL worth the same as it was before! It doesn’t matter if he can see my worth or not—I am still more valuable than rubies and diamonds. Next, a winning lottery ticket i

Spoon Perspective

We ordered a shrimp egg roll as an appetizer, and it was sitting in the middle of the table. I took the spoon wrapped up in my napkin so I could drizzle the sauce on my egg roll--because no one likes someone who double dips! I set the spoon on my appetizer plate and ate the egg roll. My husband reached across the table and took my spoon off my plate to drizzle sauce on his egg roll. I smiled at him and looked at him sideways. I thought to myself, "Why would he use my spoon when he has his own?" For a second, I thought maybe he just really wanted to use my spoon. I touched his napkin, in which was wrapped a spoon and fork. "You have your own spoon, you know," I teased. Embarrassment and laughter flushed across his face. He covered his face and laughed, "I thought that spoon came with the egg rolls!" I shook my head no, and I smiled at this precious man. "I was wondering why you would take the spoon yourself and not share it," he finally

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Jesus Would Advocate for Civil Disobedience

In March, executive orders from governors across the country forced us to stay home, to close schools and churches and to shut down private businesses. Businesses were classified as either "essential" or "non-essential." All businesses deemed "non-essential" were forced to close. This included markets, clothing stores, boutiques, dine-in restaurants, and beauty salons. State parks, city parks, beaches, walking trails, lakes, and other wide open spaces were closed as well. Many people feel that the "social distancing," as it has come to be known, and stay at home executive orders violate their constitutional rights, such as our first amendment right to freely exercise our religion, our right to peaceably assemble, and that we shall not be deprived of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Some of the people who feel their rights have been violated have decided to exercise their First Amendment right to protest. Some have even chosen

Covert Red Flags: The Real Things You Should Be Looking Out For in Relationships

Your relationship with your spouse should be the closest human relationship you ever have. As we are dating, we are assessing whether or not that person could potentially fit into our inner circle. This causes us to be on high alert for red flags. Most red flags are obvious--lack of communication, anger issues, irresponsibility, controlling behavior, abuse, etc. A quick Google search will bring up list upon list of red flags we should look out for. Being rude to waitstaff, not making your relationship public, not caring about XYZ, stone walling, gaslighting, and more can all be found on most lists. But what about the covert red flags? Those things that are less obvious. My first marriage taught me to look out for the overt red flags like the ones found in every advice column. My second marriage taught me to look out for covert red flags, ones that I never even realized were red flags until I could look back. The entire time we dated, I kept looking for the overt red fla

Because of Who I Am

Someone posted on Facebook the other day the following: Why would you fight for someone who clearly doesn't want you? Please let them go. You are valuable, just not to them. I thought about it for a minute, because I indeed fought for my husband when he clearly didn't want me. I fought for our marriage, even when he had zero interest in making our marriage work. He had already checked out and told me point-blank that he just didn't want to work on our marriage, but yet I fought on my knees before the Lord. Throughout the first few months of our separation, I prayed day-in and day-out. I beseeched the Lord to intercede. I rebuked Satan, and I prostrated myself before the Lord God Almighty. I went to therapy, and I watched sermons online. I listened to every Jimmy Evans podcast I could find. I journaled and devoured God's Word. I wrote my husband scriptures and prayers daily. I soon filled a 100-page journal front and back. Shortly after he left in June