The question of whether divorce a sin or not is asked often in Christian circles. Most of the time, people are looking for a simple yes or no answer. We want categories. We want labels. We want a clear line between what is righteous and what is sinful. But many times, we focus so much on labeling actions that we completely ignore the condition of the heart behind them. Let’s just make one thing clear: actions aren’t the sin. It’s the condition of the heart that is the sin. Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to label things as a sin, that is the sin. We become so focused on appearing righteous, condemning others, and sorting people into categories that we forget the deeper issues Scripture continually points to—pride, hardness of heart, selfishness, cruelty, bitterness, abuse, betrayal, unforgiveness, lack of mercy, and lack of love. We have to ask ourselves: Does it edify and lift up the person? Does it edify and lift up the Lord? When the Pharisees asked Jesus about ...

Someone posted on Facebook the other day the following: Why would you fight for someone who clearly doesn't want you? Please let them go. You are valuable, just not to them. I thought about it for a minute, because I indeed fought for my husband when he clearly didn't want me. I fought for our marriage, even when he had zero interest in making our marriage work. He had already checked out and told me point-blank that he just didn't want to work on our marriage, but yet I fought on my knees before the Lord. Throughout the first few months of our separation, I prayed day-in and day-out. I beseeched the Lord to intercede. I rebuked Satan, and I prostrated myself before the Lord God Almighty. I went to therapy, and I watched sermons online. I listened to every Jimmy Evans podcast I could find. I journaled and devoured God's Word. I wrote my husband scriptures and prayers daily. I soon filled a 100-page journal front and back. Shortly after he left in June...

Today is more a stream of consciousness than my usual polished posts. I've been on the struggle bus the past few weeks, and my soul and spirit have been battling each other. I wrote the other day about my spirit winning out over my soul, and the war has been raging ever since I hit "publish." I've been trying to do what is right—and have been most of my life—but right now, doing what's right feels much more like punishment than any kind of reward. My college boyfriend of a year and a half cheated on me with my best friend and roommate. Over the years when I have told that story, one question always comes up: "did you beat her up?" The answer is, no, I didn’t. I felt like it. I wanted to. But ultimately, what would beating her up have done? It wouldn't have made him love me again. It wouldn't have taken away the betrayal. It wouldn't have healed my heart. I’m sure I could’ve handled that whole situation better than what I d...

I've never been one to set New Year's Resolutions. I've always felt like changes need to come from within, not just because the calendar flipped over. I've also never had a great desire to close out a year. But this year is a bit different. 2019 has been arguably the worst year of my life. Broken promises and a broken heart left me despondent and dependent. I started 2019 as a newlywed, head over boots in love with the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. I had a beautiful house, two new step-daughters, a husband, and a future of love, hope and happiness. I felt that all of the promises God had given me had been fulfilled. By the time school got out at the end of May, my marriage had unraveled, I lost my house, my new family, and the future I had prayed for. It was such a whirlwind, I didn't even know what had happened to our relationship. Even six months later, I still don't understand why he left or how he could change his mind so qui...

He was always going to leave. It was just a matter of when he was going to leave. When entering a marriage, or any relationship, really, you don't stop to think of definitions. You're caught up in the moment--the heightened emotions, the thought of everlasting love. When we say we love someone, we know what we mean when we say certain words and phrases, and we make the mistake of assuming the other person means the same thing we do. But for many, their definition of love, marriage and forever are much different than that of their spouse. When I entered both of my marriages, my definition of love was a choice. I choose to wake up every day and put that other person's needs above my own. My definition of marriage was a covenant. I give 100 percent of myself to you, and you give 100 percent of yourself to me. My definition of forever was a life-long commitment no matter what. I am not basing my love on feelings, but rather a commitment to you forever. When on...

“This just isn’t going to work out.” The dreaded words. The end. It's over. In my years of dating experience, I’ve heard Those Words several times. I’ve also said Those Words a time or two. Whatever partner is on the receiving end of Those Words  is undoubtedly disappointed, hurt and saddened, but it’s a harsh reality that many relationships don’t always work out. The majority of dating relationships end prior to walking down the aisle. But once you say, "I do," you never expect to hear Those Words ever again. But too often, it happens anyway. Families are devastated, hearts are shattered, and covenants are broken. When you realize a dating relationship isn’t working for you, that’s when you utter Those Words  or some variation of them. The thing is, though, after you say “I do,” you no longer get to say Those Words when the going gets tough—even if you feel the relationship isn't working. Every relationship has its ups and downs, marriage mo...

Several years ago, after my divorce, God promised me a home (as in one I could purchase for myself and my girls). So I started working my butt off to save money; I drove the bus whenever I could, and I started coaching to earn extra cash. We scrimped and saved. I did massive amounts of credit repair. Then I had to go house hunting. I had to write a $1,000 earnest money check. I had to put in a mortgage application. I had to sign the documents. I had to go get a really big cashier's check with all the money I had in the entire world. And in August, I bought my first new home as a single mom. God was the only way it could happen. With this being said, God made me a promise of a home. But I had to do the work on myself first, then I had to actually put myself out there and go through the process of purchasing the home. God was with me every step of the way, guiding me, teaching me and showing me what to do. But He did not just drop a house in my lap. I didn't just kee...

I haven't posted about this yet, so I'm a little hesitant to put it out on the world wide web. However, the purpose of this blog is for those who are broken to be able to be healed, and to comfort those who mourn. If I can't share my pain and struggles, then how can others hear how I took a test and changed it to my testimony? In February, Adam decided that he wanted a divorce. I was heartbroken and was willing to do anything to save my marriage and family. The worries that I had extended beyond just myself. I worried about the girls and how the enemy could use this against them. When Adam left, I dove head first into God's word, and I surrounded myself with people who loved God, too. I started going to church as often as I could; I joined a life group; I went to Divorce Care, a Christian support group; I attended a freedom conference at church. God revealed Himself to me in such a real and tangible way. He scooped me up and held me in His arms. He healed m...