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Showing posts from March, 2020

Coronavirus Response by Enneagram

The Enneagram test is is a comprehensive personality test that has become wildly popular the past few years. It breaks people down into nine basic categories based on their fears, desires and motivations. If you don't know what type you are, click here for a free test, or you want to read more about each type, click here. I thought I would have a little fun with the Corona frenzy that has the world shut down right now, and I broke down the responses each personality type would have. Because, hey, what else is there to do at home? (this is for entertainment purposes only!)
1. The Moral Perfectionist Food is rationedEach family member is only allowed four squares of TP per wipeHome school desks are set up with color-coded assignment chartsAlready wrote her own lessons to teach her childrenWonders why people are just now learning how to wash their hands properly

2. The Supportive Advisor Calling grandparents and other elderly to make sure they have enough food and suppliesThe neighborhoo…

What Makes a Narcissist Miserable?

While not an expert on narcissism by any means, I have been married to two narcissists. Their personalities and how they manifested their narcissism were completely opposite one another, so it took me much longer to see the covert narcissism of husband #2. So one could say that I've been up-close-and-personal with a wide spectrum of narcissism.

I recently wrote an article about ways to spot a covert narcissist by looking for these signs. Because of that article, as well as other conversations I've had with people about narcissism, I was recently asked, "What makes a narcissist feel miserable?" So after thinking about it and praying, I came up with this list of things that would make any narcissist miserable.

1. Being alone
A narcissist feeds on the attention of others. They will always surround themselves with others who will tickle their ears and tell them what they want to hear. This is why narcissists jump from one relationship to another. Narcissists will never …

He Didn't Reject Me; He Rejected the God Inside of Me

After my husband left me in 2013, I spent a lot of time in prayer and supplication to the Lord. I wanted to know if I was making a mistake by divorcing him. I wanted clarity that I wasn't sinning by getting a divorce. Then God gave me a vision. I hesitate to call it a vision, because I know many people stumble when hearing that word--myself included. But it wasn't really a dream, either, but it came to me when I was lying in bed in a half-lucid state, so I'm not sure what else to call it.

I was in the middle of a vast body of water with both of my girls, ages 3 and 6 at the time. No life jackets, no boats in sight, and nothing to hold on to. Swimming to shore would require extraordinary effort, and at the moment, it was everything I could do to just breathe. The water lapped into my mouth and nose. I was surely going to drown, and my girls were, too. I kept trying to make sure my precious daughters were above water, but every time I lifted them up, I began to drown myself…

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Those Words

“This just isn’t going to work out.” The dreaded words. The end. It's over. In my years of dating experience, I’ve heard Those Words several times. I’ve also said Those Words a time or two. Whatever partner is on the receiving end of Those Words is undoubtedly disappointed, hurt and saddened, but it’s a harsh reality that many relationships don’t always work out.

The majority of dating relationships end prior to walking down the aisle. But once you say, "I do," you never expect to hear Those Words ever again. But too often, it happens anyway. Families are devastated, hearts are shattered, and covenants are broken.
When you realize a dating relationship isn’t working for you, that’s when you utter Those Words or some variation of them. The thing is, though, after you say “I do,” you no longer get to say Those Words when the going gets tough--even if you feel the relationship isn't working. Every relationship has its ups and downs, marriage more than any other. That’…

Because of Who I Am

Someone posted on Facebook the other day the following:
Why would you fight for someone who clearly doesn't want you? Please let them go. You are valuable, just not to them. I thought about it for a minute, because I indeed fought for my husband when he clearly didn't want me. I fought for our marriage, even when he had zero interest in making our marriage work. He had already checked out and told me point-blank that he just didn't want to work on our marriage, but yet I fought on my knees before the Lord.

Throughout the first few months of our separation, I prayed day-in and day-out. I beseeched the Lord to intercede. I rebuked Satan, and I prostrated myself before the Lord God Almighty. I went to therapy, and I watched sermons online. I listened to every Jimmy Evans podcast I could find. I journaled and devoured God's Word. I wrote my husband scriptures and prayers daily. I soon filled a 100-page journal front and back.

Shortly after he left in June, God told me tha…

Covert Red Flags: The Real Things You Should Be Looking Out For in Relationships

Your relationship with your spouse should be the closest human relationship you ever have. As we are dating, we are assessing whether or not that person could potentially fit into our inner circle. This causes us to be on high alert for red flags. Most red flags are obvious--lack of communication, anger issues, irresponsibility, controlling behavior, abuse, etc. A quick Google search will bring up list upon list of red flags we should look out for. Being rude to waitstaff, not making your relationship public, not caring about XYZ, stone walling, gaslighting, and more can all be found on most lists.

But what about the covert red flags? Those things that are less obvious. My first marriage taught me to look out for the overt red flags like the ones found in every advice column. My second marriage taught me to look out for covert red flags, ones that I never even realized were red flags until I could look back. The entire time we dated, I kept looking for the overt red flags, and there …