Every Failed Marriage is the Man's Fault

Let's travel back in time to the Original Sin. Adam and Eve were relaxing in the Garden of Eden. They knew no sin, only the presence of the Lord. In Genesis 3, the serpent comes and starts questioning Eve. Why did Satan choose to talk to Eve? Why not Adam? Do you think Satan knew Eve would have been an easier target?

So Eve speaks with the serpent, then she eats the forbidden fruit. She turns to Adam and offers him some, too. Growing up, I always thought the fact that Adam ate the fruit was his downfall. Adam and Eve both disobeyed God, so that was their sin, and now we are all going to hell.

But if you look at Gen. 3:6, it says, "she also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it." That means Adam was there when the serpent talked to Eve. He stood right beside Eve when she ate the fruit, and he did nothing. He said nothing. He failed to protect her. He failed to prevent her from walking into sin.

That was his sin—apathy.

Adam should have stepped in to protect his wife. He should have immediately struck down the serpent. He should have been vigilant to what could slither into his home. He should have slapped the fruit out of Eve's hands. He should have reminded her of God's promises. He should have spoken truth to Eve when she needed it the most. But he didn't do any of this. He passively allowed it all to happen.

To make matters even worse, Adam then blamed the entire thing on Eve. In verse 12, Adam says, "'It was the woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.'" Adam refused to take responsibility for his culpability in the sin. He shifted the blame away from himself and on to Eve. 

Like Eve, women are much more likely to buy into the ethos of an argument—appeal to our emotions, and you can hook us. You paint us a pretty picture, and we fall in love with it. That's why so many men can sweet talk their way into a woman's heart with little action to back up their words. Maybe that's why the serpent chose Eve as his target. Adam wouldn't have been as susceptible to the enemy—he's susceptible to his wife. A man's desire is to appease his wife and keep her from getting upset. 

As a leader, there will be times that your followers will get upset with you. That's part of the leadership gig. As the head of the household, we tend to think that means the man is the boss. That's not it. He doesn't get to order his wife around and tell her what to do. That's a distortion of scripture, and it's abusive. To lead means to be an example of Godly character, praying over and for his wife and family, listening to God, protecting and providing for his family.

Being the head of the household means not having to be asked to help around the house. It means being proactive and taking care of his wife's needs before she has to ask—and if she does ask, it gets taken care of immediately. It means not allowing his wife to walk into sin. It means manning up and not being afraid of her emotions. It means actively working against apathy in a relationship. 

Today's dating and relationship culture feeds directly into Adam's original sin in the Garden of Eden. Eve's sin was that she allowed herself to be deceived, and she didn't submit herself to her husband before eating the fruit. Adam's sin was apathy. He didn't fight for Eve. He didn't protect her. Men must recognize that apathy is their primary original sin so they can actively work to protect and lead their wives and families. 

So men, the onus is on you to make sure your marriage doesn't fail.

Disclaimer: I know this post will not be popular amongst men. There is no condemnation here. If you have had a failed marriage, I am not blaming or shaming you—the title was intentionally chosen to get your attention. I'm also not man-bashing, so please understand that, as well. The purpose for this post is to shed light on marriage, relationships, sin and God's truth, so I'm in hopes it is received that way.