I wish I were a better dancer than I am, but I definitely got the short-end of the rhythm stick. If I dance with a man who can lead me, then I can do ok, but it still isn't going to look much better than a horse prancing backwards. Maybe my dancing ineptitude is why God chose to speak to me through a dance. During communion at church the other day, God showed me a picture of me dancing with Jesus. "Stop looking at your feet," Jesus gently whispered in my ear. "But how will I know the steps?" was my incredulous reply. I don't know the steps to any dance, and I always look at my feet—or at least other people's feet—so I can copy them. I kept trying to back away from Jesus so I could look at my feet, watch His feet, and try to follow His steps. It wasn't working. Not once did Jesus get upset with me. His eyes were trained on mine, with a loving smile across his lips. He would nod to me assuringly, and He pressed His hand on the small of my ba...

I’ve heard a saying that says something to the effect of “the same boiling water that hardens the egg softens the potato.” It’s not the boiling water—the situation you are in—but rather what you’re made of that determines the outcome of that adversity. So when adversity comes, which will you be? An hardened egg or a softened potato? Hopefully, we can all be potatoes. Imagine if you were that potato being boiled, though. You went through the pain of boiling water, and you’re now softened. But you’re still not ready to be eaten. So the Lord starts mashing you. It seems like it’s the worst pain in the world, and why would this happen after being redeemed from the boiling water? Getting mashed doesn’t sound like much fun at all. But He’s molding you into what He wants—a delectable culinary delight. He adds the milk and the butter, the salt and the pepper. He is creating something way better than what that potato was prior to the boiling—or even after the boiling. The key is to know ...

In our postmodernist society, we are inundated with media that tells us, "If it feels good, do it." We are told to indulge in whatever vices we desire—sex, drugs, alcohol, gluttony, whatever it may be. What's right for you may not be right for me. The only caveat we are given is to do no harm to others. Postmodernists believe that definite terms, boundaries, and absolute truth do not exist. They believe that truth is relative and truth is up to each individual to determine for him or herself. Therefore, postmodernists believe that no one has the authority to define truth or impose upon others his or her idea of moral right and wrong. Their self-rationalization of society and life then, becomes a moral relativism versus divine revelation. There can be no latter if there is only the former. This pervasive, persuasive, and perverse thinking can be seen in our movies, TV shows, news media, education system, government, and even our children. This kind of relative m...

Several years ago, after my divorce, God promised me a home (as in one I could purchase for myself and my girls). So I started working my butt off to save money; I drove the bus whenever I could, and I started coaching to earn extra cash. We scrimped and saved. I did massive amounts of credit repair. Then I had to go house hunting. I had to write a $1,000 earnest money check. I had to put in a mortgage application. I had to sign the documents. I had to go get a really big cashier's check with all the money I had in the entire world. And in August, I bought my first new home as a single mom. God was the only way it could happen. With this being said, God made me a promise of a home. But I had to do the work on myself first, then I had to actually put myself out there and go through the process of purchasing the home. God was with me every step of the way, guiding me, teaching me and showing me what to do. But He did not just drop a house in my lap. I didn't just kee...

Growing up, the adults in my life would tell me that I was a leader. Being young and naïve, I would try to be a leader—I ran for class office, I tried to step up into other leadership roles at school, and I never won. Not once. My senior year, I was captain of the basketball team, but that was mainly because I was the best one on the team—not because of stellar leadership skills. I left high school thinking that the adults in my life were severely misled about my abilities, and that I was most definitely not a leader. So that's how I led my life—that is until a couple years ago. One of the singles pastors at church decided that I needed to lead a group. Obviously, I did not concur, but I bit the bullet and did it anyway. After that season, I was asked again to be a leader, then again. In May 2016, I got a call from my singles pastor. She asked me to lead the Single Parent Family Mission Trip to Mexico. I had not even really planned on going on that trip. I had been prayi...

A psycho unleashed terror in Las Vegas, Nevada the beginning of October. He murdered 58 people and injured 546 people who were all at a country music concert. Even several months later, there are many questions unanswered. When mass murders like this occur, or even when smaller tragedies hit us, we want so desperately to make the pain a little more bearable. The range of emotions from rage and anger to anguish and melancholy leave us crying out, "Dear God, Why?" We comfort those who are hurting with our words, especially our "Christian" words. The two most common phrases we hear when the incomprehensible happen are, "God is in control," or "Everything happens for a reason." People post memes with these phrases, inspirational quotes and even send cards with these words. While these two phrases may give some momentary comfort in times of confusion and hurt, what they say about God is unbiblical and untrue. We indeed need to "trust i...

In the story of the Prodigal Son, the father represents God the father, while the prodigal son represents those of us who have strayed away from God and come back home. It teaches us that no matter how far away we stray, God will always be there waiting for us to return. It also teaches us the relationship with God is what He longs for. We know that the prodigal son represents a person who is already a Christian. How do we know that he represents a Christian? Ephesians 1:5 tells us that God "predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ." (NIV) Romans 8:16 says that, "The Spirit himself testifies that we are God's children." (NIV) So when we are His children, we are heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ. (Romans 8:17 NIV) This lets us know that the Prodigal Son was indeed representative of a Christian--not someone who doesn't know God. When the prodigal son went his own way, he broke off the relationship with his father. He did hor...

This past week, the lead singer of the band Linkin Park, Chester Bennington, committed suicide. Unlike other recent celebrity suicides and overdoses, this one has affected me more than any other. Maybe it's because he's so close to my age. Maybe it's because I liked Linkin Park so much. Maybe it's more than any of that. When I was in college, the band Linkin Park released their first studio album, Hybrid Theory . One of my best friends and I couldn't wait until the band came to Texas so we could see them in concert. We drove two and a half hours to see them, and couldn't stop talking about the concert. We weaseled our way down to as close to the stage as the security guards would let us go without proper tickets. I can still see the sweat dripping down from Chester's frosted-tips to his temple. With their grungy guitar-heavy rock sound combined with Chester's scraggly voice and Mike's near rapping, the band was a perfect combination of al...

I saw a post on Facebook today that went something like this, "My heart is broken in two for my three year old son. Why? Because a teen-aged bully hated his hair. My precious son won't stop asking me why people hate him for his hair color. He's left so confused and upset." I completely feel for this mom. She had no idea how to answer her son, and she expressed her empathy toward her son. Unfortunately, the mom's broken heart is misplaced. I'm not saying she should not feel empathy for her son. When our children hurt, we hurt. But ultimately, her heart should be broken for the teenager who is so cruel that he would make fun of a three year old little boy's hair. That's what's happening to God's heart. His heart is broken for the teenager. Of course God's heart hurts for us when we are hurt, too. But should we even be hurt by these words? We know that we will hurt in this life, because we live in a sinful world. God never said tha...

God wants you to always know that you are a treasure. You are bought with a price—and that price was the shedding of Jesus' blood at Calvary. Giving up one's life for another's is the ultimate price to pay. People are only willing to pay an ultimate price if they value what they are getting in return. It really all comes down to value. You have to know how much your value is, and you can never forget it. The value of any item is always dependent on how much someone is willing to pay for that item. If someone is willing to pay $100 for say, a baseball card, then the value of that baseball card is $100. So remember that Jesus paid the ultimate price—his life—for you. That's how much He thinks you are worth. When I was young, I knew all of this, as well. I had all the head-knowledge that I could have. I knew scriptures by memory, and everyone always wanted me on their team for Bible trivia. But I didn't understand in my heart what any of it truly meant. I ...

God put it on my heart to give my testimony in chapel to the students at school. I thought I would post it here. I haven't made any changes, so it might be confusing at some points, but remember that I graduated from the school at which I now teach, and that I was speaking to high school students. Dear Lord, I pray that you open ears and hearts. Speak into each and every student here today. I pray that you would show each person here today your love. God never meant for us to learn by experience. He meant for us to learn by faith. We are supposed to hear a word from him, and believe and trust in Him that it is true. Take for instance the original sin. God told Adam & Eve not to eat the fruit. He wanted them to trust Him. But they had to learn from experience, and it had some pretty dire consequences. Here’s an example from our time. When your parents tell you to not run out into the middle of the street, they want you to learn through faith—believing what they tel...

For some time now, I have been asking the Lord about some roots that have taken place in my life. I've been trying to figure out why I behave in certain ways, and why I think the way I think. Some of those roots are quite unhealthy, namely my not-so-stellar track record in the dating/relationship department. All of the men I have been in serious relationships with have had one thing in common. They would tell me they loved me, cared about me, didn't want to hurt me, etc., but then they would act in ways that were definitely not loving, and sometimes not even kind. I stuck around in each relationship far beyond what any emotionally healthy person would or should. I would get hurt by their actions, confront them, then they would apologize, profess their love, and we would make up. I believed their words, and I refused to believe their actions. Obviously, I was the common denominator in these relationships, but in the two years since my divorce, I've been searching fo...

One of my favorite parenting and teaching questions is, "Are you preparing your child for the path, or are you preparing the path for your child?" When I first heard this question, I envisioned this path through a thick jungle that is full of rocks, tree branches, and tree trunks fallen over onto the dirt path. As it winds through the dense mass of trees and vines, I see parents stopping their children every few steps and picking up a boulder and tossing off the path for their child. Or maybe the parent has a machete in their hand, and the parent quickly cuts the branches away from the path, so that when the child walks the path, it is free and clear of any obstacle. Will this create a happy child? Most definitely. A child with a cleared path can frolic and play to his heart's content along that path. However, he will also grow up with the belief that the path should always be cleared for him. He will believe that life is easy, and that it isn't his respons...

Yet another senseless suicide—and this time in Hollywood. Robin Williams was an actor and comedian who recently killed himself. He was in many movies that I watched as a child and into adulthood. The news and social media have covered his death extensively, and countless articles about his death and his life have been written in the past few days. He had battled depression his entire life, and few who were close to him were surprised that he took his own life. Depression is defined as a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. Also called major depression, major depressive disorder or clinical depression, it affects how you feel, think and behave and can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems. You may have trouble doing normal day-to-day activities, and depression may make you feel as if life isn't worth living. Yearly, 40,000 Americans kill themselves. Most have been diagnosed as depressed, and doctors and experts ...

I've been going through a pretty dry season with my walk with the Lord. I have felt distant from Him, and I know it is from sin in my life. I haven't been obeying what he has been telling me. I have been stubborn, and I've been trying to do things on my own. Even though I know that God's way is the only way. Even after He rescued me after my divorce. I still want to do what I want to do. It has been the biggest struggle in my life. I've had to give up something that I really wanted. I knew that it wasn't God's best for me, but I wanted it so badly. I finally surrendered to God, and it has still been so hard. I've had to once again learn how to rely solely on God. He has to be my comfort and strength. He has to be my source of happiness and security. I have to learn how to be loved by God. All my life, I've heard that God loves me. I've read about it in scripture. I've repeated it millions of times to my daughters. What I've nev...

While at the gym today, a talk show played on the TV above my treadmill. The title for the segment was, "Is Marriage Outdated?" I couldn't hear the audio, but I read along with the captioning. Several guests were on the stage with various beliefs on the institution of marriage. One woman said that she does not believe in marriage. She said she believed that couples don't have to be married to raise children effectively. The man sitting in the middle explained that he and the mother of his daughter always try to behave in an appropriate manner when they are around his daughter. He said he doesn't want her to grow up thinking relationships are bad. He even said at one point, "I don't want my daughter to date men like me." The other lady said that she believed in marriage, but she wasn't sure how she could stand in front of someone and promise that she would feel the same way about him that she does at this precise moment. They went on to...

I haven't posted about this yet, so I'm a little hesitant to put it out on the world wide web. However, the purpose of this blog is for those who are broken to be able to be healed, and to comfort those who mourn. If I can't share my pain and struggles, then how can others hear how I took a test and changed it to my testimony? In February, Adam decided that he wanted a divorce. I was heartbroken and was willing to do anything to save my marriage and family. The worries that I had extended beyond just myself. I worried about the girls and how the enemy could use this against them. When Adam left, I dove head first into God's word, and I surrounded myself with people who loved God, too. I started going to church as often as I could; I joined a life group; I went to Divorce Care, a Christian support group; I attended a freedom conference at church. God revealed Himself to me in such a real and tangible way. He scooped me up and held me in His arms. He healed m...