How to Stay Single as an Extrovert

When we think of introverts and extroverts, we generally think of shy vs. outgoing. Being an introvert or extrovert really has more to do with what energizes you and gives you vitality rather than how you handle yourself in social situations. Introverts tend to recharge through solitude: reading a book, resting, retreating. Extroverts need people and activities to feel revitalized.

For introverts, finding yourself suddenly single can be a good thing. Introverts can retreat into their own space, meditate, pray, spend time alone and feel recharged. However, for extroverts, finding yourself single can be debilitating. Not having someone there to talk to and be there all the time can be difficult.

As Christians, we know that God wants to heal us of our pain, so there is time we need to take away from dating and relationships to repair our hearts. As an extrovert, it can be really hard sometimes to settle down and allow the Lord to work His plan in our lives. The challenge for extroverts isn't merely being single. The challenge is being still.

Be still and know that I am God. As an extrovert, your instinct is to immediately replace the relationship. You want someone to text, someone to call, someone to have dinner with, someone to tell about your day. Resist the urge to immediately fill the void with another romantic relationship.
Stay off the dating apps. If God has called you into a season of singleness, Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Facebook Dating, and Christian Mingle are not helping. Every match keeps you emotionally invested in finding the next relationship instead of allowing God to heal from the last one.
Don't confuse loneliness with readiness. Just because you miss having someone does not mean you are ready for someone. Many extroverts mistake loneliness for a sign they should start dating again.
Spend time with people who aren't dating prospects. One of the biggest mistakes extroverts make is turning every social interaction into a potential relationship. Spend time with married couples, families, church friends, coworkers, and same-sex friendships. Learn how to enjoy people without evaluating them as a future spouse.
Stay busy. Volunteer. Serve. Travel. Join a Bible study. Take a class. Spend time with friends. Idle extroverts are usually miserable extroverts.
Stop romanticizing your ex. Extroverts often miss the companionship more than the actual person. Sometimes what you miss isn't the relationship—it is having someone there.
Let God heal what broke. One of the fastest ways to extend heartbreak is to carry it into the next relationship. Singleness is often where God exposes unhealthy patterns, wounds, insecurities, and idols that would otherwise follow us into the next relationship.

Being single as an extrovert isn't easy. There will be days when you miss having someone to call, someone to text, someone to share life with. There will be days when you're tempted to jump into a relationship simply because you're lonely. Don't. Loneliness is not a reason to date. If God has called you into a season of singleness, trust that He has a purpose for it. Let Him heal what needs healing, teach what needs teaching, and prepare what needs preparing. The right relationship is worth waiting for, but more importantly, so is becoming the person God wants you to be before it arrives.

Related Posts: Dating Advice and Dating is a Struggle

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